wat bout pragnant strippers??
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize