I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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