I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
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