I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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