Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
