God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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