Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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