it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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