I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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