we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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