Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize