I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Randomize
