There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
