a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
