Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
