Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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