she was so not down for the gang bang
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
We got so high we made milksteak
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
