She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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