Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I am available for nakedness
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
