so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
