Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
