He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
