doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
