They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize