Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
