So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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