I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
