Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
