Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
