You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
