Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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