Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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