once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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