I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize