oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
