He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
