Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
