North Korea, Best Korea!
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize