he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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