you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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