This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
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