around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
