I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize