he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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