those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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