you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
