We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
