Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize