actually, I'm a sock model
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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