why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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