You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
