Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I know her cup size but not her name....
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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