you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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