At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Randomize
