i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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