It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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