i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
