he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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