I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize