we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
