Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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