I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize