i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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