sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
what the fuck happened to the tacos
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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