Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
